Friday, December 23, 2011

I have an Inferiority Complex for Writing for ViewsHound

The signs of bad weather approaching as viewed from the balcony of the beach house

How come I still feel inadequate about my writing activities, specifically for ViewsHound? I think I know the answer, but I will not put it in writing until the end of this article.

Let me start by saying that writing has never been my dream or goal in life. But after my retirement in 2002, I found I need some activity that sharpens my old brain besides playing bridge and computer games. So in 2008, I started blogging as suggested by a friend who is a professional blogger.

The topic I chose was about my life experiences here in the US and comparing it with life in the Philippines. It was almost a year ago, when I realized that I have numerous readers, about 100 daily based on Google statistics, and comments on my blogs. A number of my readers gave positive comments about my posts and how they like my writing style. However, there were a couple of comments that were so negative it still hurts my ego even today. Luckily there were only 2 negative comments out of the more than 500 that I have received in my 8 blogs, as of today.

The next year my writing activity soared to great heights when three of my articles were published in Huliq News. Another three articles were published in a widely read Internet magazine about Life in the Philippines. I also started writing my autobiography and created a website for Chateau Du Mer, my beach resort in Boac, Marinduque, Philippines.

As suggested by another friend, I signed for the Google AdSense program and started earning about $10 per month. I joined Facebook and Twitter to advertise the beach resort and conference center. The readership of my 8 blogs went up to about 120 readers daily and I was a very happy blogger.

In August I discovered ViewsHound. Today, I have written 46 articles, 1 gold winner, 6 followers and has now over 10,000 views. My goal is to write 50 articles for ViewsHound by the end of the year.

But I still feel inadequate about my writing activities. I am envious of the writing styles of Jan Bird, Vernon Crumrine, Deb Hamilton and Jessica Willoughby. I am envious of the poems written by my good friend Vic Vizarra. I know there is no reason why I should feel this way. Based on comments from my blogs, I know I am a fairly good writer and a lot of my readers like my style of writing.

I believe the reason why I have still have an inferiority complex about my writing is deep rooted in my memory of my earlier years. It probably started during my elementary school days, when I received the lowest grade of 75% in my English and grammar classes. All my other grades in math, science, history and others were in the 90 to 95% range. Because of my low grade in English, instead of graduating valedictorian of the class, I only received a Second Honor award.

In my high school year, I was surprised when I was chosen editor of our high school newspaper. I wrote several poems, articles about the advantages and disadvantages of being the oldest child, and other topics about high school life that were of interest to my age group. My English grade improved. There was a point in my high school years that I wanted to get a degree in journalism. When I informed my parents of my plan to study journalism in college, they discouraged me. They said there is no money in journalism. I will starve and will never be able to support a family if I depend my livelihood as a writer. They insisted I take either medicine, law or just become a Catholic priest.

In college, I took the Pre-Med course as suggested by my parents. At the end of my second year, I know medicine was not for me, since the sight of blood nauseated me. I shifted to chemistry and the rest is history. During my undergraduate and graduate school years, almost all of my courses were in science and mathematics. There was no need to be a writer until two years ago, when I started blogging.

Today, I am extremely happy writing my blogs and writing articles for ViewsHound. Do I still feel inadequate about my writing activities? As of this moment, the resounding answer is NO! However, my current wish is to get another award from ViewsHound, perhaps a silver, a bronze or the readers' award. If this happens in the future, it will certainly alleviate my feeling of inadequacy as a writer and blogger.

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