Thursday, December 22, 2011
Domestic Abused Against Men: The Battered Husband
I know of two men being abused by their wives. Nobody believed them until they finally decided to end the marriage.
I have read and heard many cases of battered wives but not of battered husbands. The first time I heard of a case of a battered husband was about 12 years ago when I was still working for Food and Drug Administration in Maryland. A Review Chemist I had supervised confided in me, that the reason he is now divorced is because his former wife has been beating him at least once a month for the last two years. At first, he just protected himself, but after the fourth beating he reported it to the police. The police came to their apartment, investigated and nothing else happened. The physical and mental abuse continued until he finally decided to break the marriage and left his wife. There was a restraining order issued against his wife.
My first reaction was one of disbelief. This man although softly spoken is 6'6ft tall, athletic and very masculine. He has a PhD in chemistry and is very personable and friendly. I ask myself—is this man telling the truth? But the way he confided in me was very convincing and I believe him. The abuse was not only physical but also mental according to him. The guy is about 45 years old and they have no children.
The second case of a battered husband that I heard was just recently in the Philippines. This case is sad and really touched my heart since the battered husband is a close relative of my wife. During one of our many family reunions, I noticed the absence of his wife. I ask him why his wife was not around. He replied “I do not have a wife anymore”. I was embarrassed for asking the question and totally forgot about the incident. However, the next day, I was talking to his mom. She told me about the domestic abuse that her son had tolerated for the last 10 years. It was only last year that he told his parents what was going on. They are now separated and have two children, 9 and 2 years old. The children are with him, but his wife has visiting rights. In this case the abuse is also both physical and mental. As in case above, this man is good looking, athletic, very personable, and intelligent. This guy is only 39 years old.
Do you know of a case of a battered husband? Abuse could be either physical or mental or indeed both.